by Mickey Boardman
Photographs by Derin Thorpe

It had been snowing all day by the time I had my highly anticipated rendezvous with the three chronically cute and tremendously talented boys of Hanson. The adorable former adolescents Isaac, Taylor and Zac are all grown-up (well, almost; Zac is still 18), and they met me at Fez for the Loser's Lounge Tribute to the legendary lady-killer and songwriter Burt Bacharach. The boys were a Tiger Beat editor's wet dream of a group -- teenage, supercute -- when they stormed onto the pop music scene in 1997 with their addictive anthem "MmmBop." Recently they have been spending time in the naked city, looking for an apartment and creating a sensation playing at a little concert venue called Carnegie Hall. They're also gearing up for the release of Underneath, their third album, the first on their own record label, called 3CG. Nothing like a barely legal record mogul!

The boys arrive early. As I enter the club, I bump into Taylor, 20, who is perhaps the cutest person I've ever seen in person, and Isaac, 23, who's just been in the hospital because of a blood clot in his arm -- which some press outlets erroneously reported as drug-related. Zac is downstairs with his girlfriend Kate. Zac has matured from the 11-year-old moppet we first knew, and he's now a strapping and handsome lad. Kate, a former model, is gorgeous and sweet. I apologize profusely to the young lovebirds for raining on their romantic parade, but Zac says, "Hey, I'm here with the rest of the band." Being profoundly shallow, the first thing that strikes me about the guys is how cute they are. But upon reflection I'm struck by how smart, nhansons and knowledgeable about music they are. Ah, the joys of finding substance wrapped in a pretty package.

As we settle into our booths and the tribute band launches into "Always Something There to Remind Me," Taylor leans over and says, "The mirrored kick pedal is genius." He's referring to the pedal on the drum, but sadly, being a musical ignoramus, a lot of the technical music talk is lost on me. It's the 10th anniversary of Loser's Lounge, and despite the blizzard the place is fully packed with people bobbing their heads, clapping and drunkenly singing along, or at least trying to sing along. A veritable smorgasbord of cowboys, backup singers and lounge lizards are all rocking kooky looks.

Isaac, the oldest brother, is coveting one of the guitars on stage. "I'm a huge Chuck Berry fan," he tells me over the din of music. "He was the reason I wanted to play a guitar." The first thing Isaac did when he became a rock star was to buy a cherry-red AS 335. "It sounds amazing. I also have a '67 12-string. That's amazing." He smiles shyly. "That's my guitar talk for now." Fascinating stuff, but the only guitar I know is Johnny Guitar, starring film legend Miss Joan Crawford.

When a singer arrives onstage wearing an ensemble that's particularly hard on the peepers, Taylor says, "I think they call it Loser's Lounge for a reason." Another lulu of a look elicits, "He's shockingly lounge." We talk about having missed the Neil Diamond tribute. "A Neil Diamond and Burt evening would have textural similarities," Taylor observes.

It's break time for the show, and the announcer declares that the Hanson boys will sing a karaoke version of "I'll Never Fall in Love Again." Sadly, Taylor doesn't know all the words, so it doesn't happen. We decide instead to mingle with the performers and head backstage. Suddenly it's as if I'm at shopping mall with J.Lo. The throngs are going crazy! Everyone wants a photo with Hanson. As a matter of fact, wherever we go tonight, when I mention that I'm with Hanson, everyone, whether a sophisticated fashion type or an East Village schlep, is worked into a frenzy.

One particularly loungey singer, who says that he arranged the "Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?" theme song, also says that fans on his Web site claim that Hanson viciously stole his song's melody for their worldwide smash hit "MmmBop." Good-naturedly, Zac denies any wrongdoing.

As everyone's chatting and having photos taken, Isaac says, "It's funny to come back here and see how music relates people, the connection music has for people." I tell them that I'm going out on the town in a few days with Jackass star Johnny Knoxville, and they smile. "I consider us pretty mellow," Zac says, "but anyone who'd hit himself in the balls with an eight ball . . ." Isaac adds, "But we're still Oklahoma boys at heart."

Isaac is loving the cold weather. "It makes me want to write songs," he says. "I see things and feel things differently when it's cold. I tend to write the best music then." He thinks for a second and adds, "especially if there's a girl around." Honey, the hormones are certainly at work with the guys.

We sneak out during the break and head over to New York's most glamorous restaurant, Indochine, for a snack. Waiting for our table, we talk about Zac's artwork. He says it's nothing, but his brothers and Kate insist he's very talented. Just then Zac responds to the music playing in the background and says, "Wow, that was the best sub-woofer ever." Again, my music knowledge doesn't go far beyond Kylie Minogue's fashion looks and Bananarama remixes, but Zac patiently explains it to me. Isaac then teases Zac. "He's like Keith Moon. He's kinda messed-up in the head."

Over crispy shrimp and marinated tofu, the guys talk about 3CG, their new record company. The initials stand for "Three Car Garage." Taylor says, "So much music comes from there. Plus, it represents unused space." With their third record they wanted to have creative control. Taylor goes on, "We want to get closer to the fans and stay fresh. We're all weird. What's normal? I don't know. If we sold a billion records or not, we'd still be making music."

Meanwhile, Zac is playing with his chopsticks, and Isaac needs to go back to the hotel to take his medicine. He plans to hook up with us later, but it ends up taking him ages to trudge through the snow. Zac says of their new record, "It's still Hanson, the songwriting and the vocals. It's a modern version. It's the mellowest record we've ever done."

We decide to head out into the slush and walk over to Lit, the big daddy of East Village dive bars. People fight their way through the drifts, and a man carries his scantily clad girlfriend across the street. She's wearing a miniskirt and mules. We pause for some snowball-related frolicking and tomfoolery en route. The bar is packed with boozed-up East Villagers. Someone grabs Taylor and asks if he's famous. "Yes," says our photographer. "He is from the movie American Pie 2." We wander toward the back, where a show of insane artwork and homemade stage props from the ludicrous and legendary band GWAR are on display. Zac and Kate cut a rug, while Taylor tells me about their crazy experience on a Brazilian TV show, which wouldn't let the brothers leave the stage, because their appearance on the show had boosted its ratings so high. The band that played before them was yanked off-air mid-song. But high-rated Hanson was held hostage on the air for ages!

In the end, for the guys, all cuteness, Brazilian TV ratings and record sales aside, it's all about the music. "In a way, musicians are ambassadors," Taylor tells me. "I take pride in that. Music can significantly influence things. We're ambassadors of truth and life."

Taylor, Zac and Kate pile into a cab and head home. I feel this has been a rich, if foot-soaking, experience. I will always remember Taylor, as he excitedly rushed over to me at the Gwar exhibit. "I have to give you a quote," he'd said. He laughed, motioning toward a rock 'n' roll poster, then mouthed the words emblazoned on it: "Vote Sleazy!" Mmm, bop, indeed.

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