It's ridiculous how it's just a random day. The only thing that happens is that at midnight a couple of numbers on a calendar change. And still it's one of those days that I feel, in the case of today, a little upset... a touch sad. I don't know. Sure. I could try to get to Sea Point (other side of Table Mountain, way past both town and the Waterfront) and share in time with friends from church (you may ask why I'm not in the first place; well, I made arrangements to watch a certain movie at a certain time, albeit on my own). I don't know why being on my own bothers me. It never used to in the past, and I should be used to it.
Much to look forward to in 2020 as well... I'll be lonely, alone, unemployed; I'll have hopes and dreams and never be able to implement them. I'll volunteer time and whatever, and not be appreciated (that's a touchy issue for me because scripture says not to desire being rewarded in any way). And I get to watch 30 second videos of my favourite band touring half the world... twice, while I sit in solitude watching DVDs or listening to CDs. It's probably best though. I wouldn't know how to act at a Hanson show anyway. I'd probably stand as still as possible trying not to be thrown out of the venue. I'm sorry, but at times like these.
Maybe it's not helped by the fact that I was told this morning my brother's family is moving to Switzerland in three weeks. I mean, it's not a hassle, or shouldn't be -- I've seen them about a hundred times more since my mom died than in the last ten years combined. The closest thing I have to a sister and my best friend are a continent away. I just feel so alone.
How is one meant to have a happy new year? Sorry for the rant...